Rio Ferdinand: We used to always say that if I could play one minute…

I’m beginning to research and plan what I want to do from Summer onwards. My four options are things I want to do and I can only choose one.

1. Stay in Amsterdam

2. Move to London
3. Play Professional Football somewhere in Europe
4. Move back to Australia

The routine I’ve been following in Amsterdam: Training 15 hours a week, going to business school, working on startups, and socialising/partying; is a routine that is working well for me. I feel that living in Amsterdam is really starting to grow on me. I’m very comfortable here and I’m doing everything I love here. I love football and the level of Dutch football is very high. I love business, so the university study here is easy for me + there is a growing startup culture here. I love going out/socialising/meeting people from all over the world. What’s not good is that although I’m not homesick, I would love to be with my family. I can’t speak Dutch. Sometimes I wish my flat was in the city centre.  That’s about it.

The first signs of spring/summer are popping up and I’m excited for the months ahead. Amsterdam is beginning to look more beautiful. Sometimes, all I feel like doing is just going out late and partying. I don’t need to be drunk – I just need good company and good music and I’ll have the time of my life with people I really like. Sometimes I think what else do I need? What I could easily say that other people can’t,  is that even if football doesn’t work out, I have my passion and knowledge of business to fallback on and work further at and I love building companies, just as much as I love football and sports. Do I really need to be a professional footballer to be happier then I already am?

It causes me stress which I could live without. Whenever this type of thought comes in my mind, I try and erase it so I can remain focused and undistracted. But really, I take out money from the ATM and spend it without worrying, I’m young and I have complete freedom to do whatever the fuck I want. Most people in my situation would be completely happy. But I’m different.  Do I just give up now and stop pursuing my dream of playing pro? Hell no. There’s a quote by Rio Ferdinand: “We used to always say that if I could play one minute of football as a professional footballer – no matter what level – I’d die a happy person. Just one minute.”

I need to prove to myself and to my family and to friends and to the people that wondered “What happened to Nick Humphries?” – Answer: he did the impossible and played professionally. This story of me and this goal that basically came out nowhere in 2009, slowly developed into something that has consumed me to eventually reach the goal I set for myself.  This story I’ve created has to be told, to inspire other people, to inspire myself. Something I can say I’ve done for the rest of my life. I know that if I do this, I have the power to do anything and I’ll have that feeling for the rest of my life. That is worth more than anything money could possibly buy. If I don’t ever play as a pro and give up, this story will forever be incomplete and I’ll just be another guy who went by the wayside tale.  So although my life is literally perfect right now, making it as a professional footballer is my destiny, it’s what I have to do. Coming back to my options, I have to play professionally. But where? When? How? This is what I am planning and figuring out.

So going less deep now, I played right back on Tuesday against a 6th div team (2e klasse) reserves with decent attackers. Going forward was very good, in the first half I put in 3 or 4 crosses that were really dangerous down the right flank. But my defending was not good. Playing those two games as a defensive mid in previous matches with the team, it was easy for me, but as a right back it was different. I wasn’t totally sure who to pick up, when to go forward and with a quick winger, I was leading them inside rather than outside and was probably not tight enough. What’s bad is that I wasn’t talking much because I still am not sure of everyone’s name. It was a friendly so subs were rotated alot, but I came off after 60 min and wasn’t happy with myself.

So I began analysing matches to see how defenders defended, rather than always focusing on looking at attacking. I saw that getting closer to defenders makes a world of difference and that’s what happened in training on Thursday.

On Saturday we had another match with a team from the 3e klasse first team. I had a hunch that I wasn’t going to start and began as one of the two subs on the bench. But I played 45 min as a centre mid and right back because one player got injured. Played okay, nothing special and didn’t get the ball much. I think the coaches are definitely confused as to which position they should use me. I think I’m best as a winger, but there are alot of players who already play as a winger in the squad and because I can adapt to other positions better than other players, I’m used in preferred positions where it’s harder for me to have my best performance and be most effective. So it’s a difficult situation and I might talk to the coaches later about it.

One thing I learnt in training this week was the timing of my runs. I usually go to early. So what I have to do is wait until person gets the ball and then the quick dash. Anyway, there’s another game on Tuesday and Sunday. Good to get match practice!

Spoke to Moses today about an opportunity in Budapest in the 2nd division. Apparently a club had problems with it’s owner and now the club are looking for new players. Wage conditions are fucking terrible, $250 p/m and $200 win bonus, accommodation provided. Money is not the point anyway, it’s the opportunity to be seen, but not worth packing up here and moving there. Which brings me to my next question, what do I define “making it” as a pro footballer?

General comment: Really focusing my workout exercises on more dynamic, explosive ones. Focus less on the arms now.

General comment: really trying to replicate the amount of time on average you would have in the premier league for a touch and a shot.3. Find out what makes great players, great. What seperates the “great” from the “good”
New task
4. Defend better

New task